Father of 2 refuses to return $7000 to brother when he backs out of family vacation last-minute, warns he will take him to court: "I'm not paying out of pocket"

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Mar 19, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

The best thing about family vacations as a kid is that they were pretty worry-free. The most you had to concern yourself with was being bored or having a squabble with your sibling or cousin over who gets to play with the Gameboy; the rest was just smooth sailing and happy memories. It's a totally different experience for adults, though. They have to make sure that the kids stay entertained while also dealing with all the logistics that come with traveling. Big trips with extended family are the worst as they involve money and clashing interests.

In our story today, two brothers plan a vacation with their respective families and parents a whole year in advance. However, when the date approaches, one has a pet emergency that lands him with a hefty vet bill. He asks his brother for the money back, but he refuses as it's too late to get a refund. Scroll down to find out what the World Wide Web thinks of this sticky family feud. 

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  • 01

    AITA not giving back 7K vacation reimbursement so my brother can pay Vet bills from his dog?

    Cheezburger Image 10481779968
    via MivPiv
  • 02
    Last summer, a family vacation was planned for my family (M40, wife, and 2 kids) my brothers family (M33, wife, 1 kid), and our parents. The plan was to go to Maui in May 2025. Its easily the most expensive trip any of us have been on. A fishing trip
    via u/Moist_Ad4128
  • 03
    with dad was booked, a very expensive VRBO was booked and final payment occurred last month, and at that point could not be canceled. These shared costs were put on my credit card and I was fully reimbursed by all parties for their share.
    via u/Moist_Ad4128
  • 04
    Last week, my brothers Black Lab had a severe health issue. The dog was 6 years old and unfortunately it passed. I got word of it and sent my condolences. A few days later I got a phone call
    via u/Moist_Ad4128
  • 05
    from my brother. Essentially he went all out trying to save the dog and has a significant vet bill coming his way. He informed me that him and his family are backing out of the trip. He asked for his money back that he paid me.
    via u/Moist_Ad4128
  • 06
    CCCCC
    via Worawee Meepian
  • 07
    Needless to say a disagreement occurred between us. He thinks because he canceled he should be reimbursed. My family and our parents will still be going. The trip can't be changed at this point. But i'm not reimbursing him, i'm not about to pay another 7K out of my pocket.
    via u/Moist_Ad4128
  • 08
    I told him absolutely not. He's called me an a h le and threatened small claims court. Its been a pretty toxic last few days. He refuses to consider going citing finances, emotional distress from the dog, and he doesn't want to be around me. Am I the A hole here?
    via u/Moist_Ad4128
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10481780480
    via KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA from Pexels

  • My compassionate heart feels so deeply for our protagonist's brother. He is in deep in despair and likely feels abandonded by his family. However $7,000 are no small peanuts.

  • 10
    Games DontStop INFO. Why is it just between you and your brother? Why aren't your parents included in this discussion? Or does he think that you personally should fund his trip cancellation?
    via u/GamesDontStop
  • 11
    Moist Ad4128 OP They paid a share of the Vrbo. The fishing trip was a gift for our dad. He is coming at me because he paid me money.
    via u/Moist_Ad4128
  • 12
    November-8485 The costs were split between all. Which means if he backs out everyone's price goes up. Talk to everyone.
    via u/November-8485
  • 13
    Replacement Tough7890 I typically agree with this but he stated they are past the point of canceling with reimbursement.
    via u/ReplacementTough7890
  • 14
    mmcksmith The suggestion seems to be the family discuss splitting the increased between those going so the brother gets his 7k back (everyone else pays more).
    via u/mmcksmith
  • 15
    Personally, I'd say no, as OP's brother is an adult and made an agreement with the rest of the family. Likely plans were made based on the shared budget.
    via u/mmcksmith
  • 16
    Moist Ad4128 OP I mean, I don't want to increase my trip cost by 5K to help my brother out.
    via u/Moist_Ad4128
  • 17
    Dubbiely Tell him he should ask his travel insurance to reimburse him. If he doesn't have an insurance that's bad luck because you don't have one either.
    via u/Dubbiely
  • 18
    If he goes to small claim court, he is going to lose also the fee for the court because there is no way he could win.
    via u/Dubbiely
  • 19
    Wandering Gnostic The brother didn't pay directly for the trip. OP paid directly for the trip, the other parties reimbursed him for their part of that trip. The brother wouldn't be eligible for travel insurance, only OP if he had it and was forced to cancel the entire trip.
    via u/WanderingGnostic
  • 20
    NTA. mfruitfly These were nonrefundable costs, and that is how life works. I assume any trip I back out of, I am not getting a refund.
    via u/mfruitfly
  • 21
    Now, it would be good for the rest of you going to chat about what you COULD refund him. If changes can be made to certain things, like excursions, where you could get a refund for his part, then try. If all the family members are willing to kick in a little to
    via u/mfruitfly
  • 22
    cover part of the house rental, then that would be nice. For example, one time a group of friends rented a house, and two of the sleeping situations weren't ideal (couch in an extra room, air mattress in another), so when a couple cancelled (nonrefundable) we all got better rooms out of it, so we sent them some money back.
    via u/mfruitfly
  • 23
    If there are ways to help your brother, you should all consider doing so, but no, he can't get money for the nonrefundable stuff back.
    via u/mfruitfly
  • 24
    - OP my advice to your brother would be "Find someone else who would like to take your spot that the family would be ok with having on a family event and have them pay to take your spot. Otherwise, this is a vacation already paid for. I'm not keeping our money from you, you've spent that money on a trip you now don't want to go on."
    via u/Discount_Mithral

  • Finding someone to take his place on the vacation and pay him the cost is an amazing suggestion. He can get his money “back” with no cost to his family.

  • 25
    Rayonjersey I'm not doing these things for someone who just said they were going to sue me. This is the conversation brother needs to have with you BEFORE he threatens litigation.
    via u/Rayonjersey
  • 26
    ChaoticCapricorn INFO: Were all parties informed that tickets/plans were non refundable?
    via u/ChaoticCapricorn
  • 27
    Moist_Ad4128 OP Yes, they helped pick the Vrbo. Not the first time they've used Vrbo either. They know the closer to the trip the less likely it is to be refundable.
    via u/Moist_Ad4128
  • 28
    NeedARita So tell him you don't have his money to give back to him. VRBO has it and they won't give it back...
    via u/NeedARita
  • 29
    SZU This is the simple answer. Just say that you don't have any money. Not that you don't want to give him. Any money he sent was used immediately to pay off the cc. Actually go ahead and do that immediately if OP hasn't done so yet.
    via u/szu
  • 30
    Ok-Cheetah-9125 NTA You aren't keeping his money. The money was non refundable. It's unfortunately that he lost his puppy but you didn't have anything to do with it.
    via u/Ok-Cheetah-9125
  • 31
    Discount_Mithral This OP isn't keeping money, the money has been spent on the vacation and the window for reimbursement from cancelling on time has passed. The loss of the dog and subsequent vet bills was an unexpected blow, but it's neither OP's fault/problem, nor is there any way for OP to get the money back without shelling out money from his own pocket.
    via u/Discount_Mithral
  • 32
    Speaking to his vet about a payment plan for this bill, and a possible discount if paid in full due to the loss of the pet would be the way to go.
    via u/Discount_Mithral

Tags

family drama dogs pets toxic married with children brother siblings court veterinarian relationships love family vet trip money family vacation brothers vacation
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